Daddy Duty

Sleep, Eat, Diaper Change. Repeat.

When are you having a second one?

on April 20, 2012

Calm down, there’s no announcement in this post.  I’m just putting it out there since we’re getting asked this a bunch.

Speaking of which, I don’t mind you asking in general. It’s a simple enough question. My typical response is usually light-hearted and will come to the tune of “It’s up to my wife,” “We’ve got our hands full at the moment with JJ,” “We’re not sure,” or “Tomorrow.”

However, sometimes, some pushy people are just plain pushy and aggressive about it like we need to have one now because they said so. With these people, in the far, far back of my head, I’m thinking:

  • “Are you looking to help pay for tuition?”
  • You’re not even married yet/Your child’s not married yet/You don’t even have 1 kid yet/Your child doesn’t even have 1 kid yet and you’re pushing me?

Where to begin? Before we ever had JJ, we had discussed and assumed we would have a couple of children. From my simple perspective, two kids is best somewhat solely based on my own experience. One child seems lonely. Three children results in 2 ganging up on 1 and four just seemed like too many. Heck, when you have to have a special car to transport your family, there are too many. That’s not to say that having more kids wouldn’t be without its joys, however, it’s tough. Just take a look at the Duggar’s grocery stats from TLC’s “19K ids and counting.” They spend $3K/month on groceries alone. Yikes!

Expanding on my own experience, my sister is a mere 11 months younger than me and we’re like 2 peas in a pod.  There’s something to be said for how my parents had the two of us one after the other and basically got the diaper/feeding stage/potty training over with at the same time. Part of me simply wants to replicate this out of sheer convenience. I can’t imagine having JJ potty trained and sleeping through the night later on only to become a zombie all over again with a newborn.

However, there’s another side of me that wants to simply grow into my current role with JJ and put a gap before the next child. This will also give us a chance to rest up and prepare for a second as well as some additional time to sock away the additional funds required.

Did I forget to mention that I’d still obviously need my wife’s consent. Carrying another kid for 9 months and then the great process of labor and delivery-I still don’t know how women do it. Superheroes I tell ya!

For now, let’s leave it at we’re thinking about it and are simply enjoying our time with JJ for the time being.

DISCLAIMER: all of the people I talk about generally here are not part of my family. Apparently, I created quite a stir with my pet peeves post as different family members started pointing out other family members doing those behaviors. Haha! This is not meant towards close friends and family. I’m happy to joke, be frank, and openly discuss and kid around with those close to me. However, the people I’m talking about aren’t close to me, nor are they computer literate and will never find this blog.

P.S. As JJ isn’t sleeping through the night yet, it’s starting to get annoying hearing people ask if he is. That’s probably the one question I can’t stand because it reminds me of how sleepless I am and makes me feel like a parental failure with a bad kid despite my best efforts. When he’s sleeping through the night, everyone will know it. We’ll all be happier. I guarantee it! FYI, If you do ask, I won’t get mad. I’ll answer truthfully and then put my head down in shame. J/K It’s ok.  I’m not that sensitive.
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2 responses to “When are you having a second one?

  1. Angie says:

    Jason, I’m totally with you being annoyed at people asking if she’s sleeping through the night. We would have a few days where she made it, and then bam! I’d be up at 2am again, and somebody would wonder why she wasn’t sleeping. We finally have had consistency now that she’s 8 months 10-11 hours of sleep a night – beautiful! I know it might seem a long way off, but it’s coming and it’s glorious!! Good luck!

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